I read an article about why a zombie apocalypse would never happen. Are these guys serious? Yes, it is comedy and they will write about anything to get a laugh out of someone. That wasn’t what burst my bubble… it was the comments. That’s where you find the real crackpots; down in commentland. They took it literal and argued the different points. (**Post edit 2017. WHAT? People arguing in commentland!!! Say it isn’t so!!!)

Now, even though I love the idea of zombies, the actual aftermath of such a thing would be horrible. I just want to throw out there, that I don’t relish the fact of mass rape and murder. This happened after Hurricane Katrina. I will stick to my imagination and write it on paper. That’s really where I want it to stay.

The points in the article, 7 Scientific Ways a Zombie Outbreak would fail, are really good ones. Come on though, this wouldn’t happen. Ever. If it did, we wouldn’t know what zombies would be like or how they would come to be. They could be alien hosts(if this would happen, I suspect zombies would have some sort of intelligence). It could be a super virus or a mad biologists parasite. Could be some dark voodoo person’s idea of a good time. Hell could fill up after massive radiation leaks resulting in skeletons digging their way out of their graves; the true Romero way. Who knows? We don’t.

If I had my opinion I would say we are living in Zombie times already. Just look at how many people go from day to day on autopilot.

Or they’re perpetually stoned or nut jobs in commentland.

Zombies are just that, fiction. If it wasn’t I wouldn’t enjoy writing about it. I love to twist things in a way to make them believable. I do know how many wackos are out there. They have The Zombie Survival Guide memorized and are members of various zombie forums(I swear I only do it for the research, okay I admit it’s fun).

I also know that if I ever came face to face with a flesh eater I would panic. As much research as I have done on weapons and surviving an apocalypse… I don’t own any guns or stockpile nonperishables. I have a steel baseball bat and a bag of dry pinto beans in the pantry.

In other words, I would die and reanimate.

I’m seriously thinking about writing in my Will to not shoot me if I turn into a zombie. This is also in Sheldon Cooper’s “roommate  agreement.” I’ve never eaten brains and wonder what they taste like.

My playlist for The Famished #1
Brain Stew- Green Day
Hurt- Johnny Cash
Zombie- The Cranberries
Sick Bubble Gum- Rob Zombie
On a Wicked Night- Danzig
Choke chain- 3Oh!3
And We Danced- Dark Lotus
Smack My Bitch Up- Prodigy
Fire Water Burn- Bloodhound Gang
Lying is the Most Fun- Panic! At the Disco
Dragula- Rob Zombie
That’s the Way I Like It- KC and The Sunshine Band
No Sleep till Brooklyn- The Beastie Boys
Down Rodeo- Rage Against the Machine
Dead Bodies Everywhere- Korn
Cherry Bomb- The Runaways
Pussy- Lords of Acid
On the Road Again- Willie Nelson
Strange Times- The Black Keys
 I will also leave you with this picture of Leatherface Spongebob:
Because it’s just awesome.
Remember: The mind is like a parachute, it doesn’t work unless it’s open.
Facebook Comments