Happy New Year!

I'm on vacation this week! Hope everyone has a safe New Year!

 And of course, a funny:

Have a Great Christmas!

Just wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas!

There is this cool site for you to customize a video from Santa! You can do it for Naughty or Nice children and adults. I sent one to my husband for being Naughty.... hehehe. 

It's called Portable North Pole. Check it out and send one to all your friends and family.

Here is a message from me to you... =)

A Christmas Secret

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.  Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered. Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?" And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree. Not many people know this.

Back from the Grave and Falling Way Behind

I want to say thanks to all the people who were concerned about my prolonged internet absence. I have been ill, but am making my way to the land of the living. I am highly flattered with all the messages I received to see if I was okay.

Sadly, I missed on the last days of Creepmas. I do get e-mail updates from my favorite blogs. So, even though I haven't commented I highly enjoyed posts from my phone.

When I finally did pick up my laptop, needless to say, it was dead. Then I looked into my laundry room, okay I'm not gonna go there.

I also realized, I hadn't bought one Christmas present save for a few from on-line. In other words, it took me days to catch up on my day to day life.

I do have a few things to share.

One of the things I love to do during Christmas is ride around looking at Christmas lights and decorations. We all love the effort one will go through to show their Christmas spirit with spectacular decorations synced with music and blah, blah, blah. 

I really love the amusing ones. Yeah, the tacky crap. If it makes me think "WTF where they thinking?" I will like it. If it makes me laugh, I will like it. If it makes me say, "Dear God, what is that?" I will love it. I haven't actually been looking around this year, so I got my fill on the world wide web.

I found some redneck pictures... most likely taken in Redneckville.

 "Mommy! Where's my Barbie?"

It's really bad when I think someone's sense of humor goes a little far.

Here are some more. Extra tacky.

Yeah, festive.

I'll leave you with my son's Santa cupcakes and a funny.

6th Day of Creepmas; Attack of the Christmas Tree Zombie Bugs!!!

I have a story to tell.

Let's see. I believe it was my son's second Christmas, and our third year in our house. I was determined to have a great Christmas. We decided to get a real tree. One of those with the root balls, so we could plant it afterward.

The tree my husband picked out was only five feet (he told me over the phone). I was angry, at first. Five feet? I wasn't looking for a midget tree.

When he brought it home, I understood why. A five foot pine tree with a root ball is a big mama jama. I had no qualms laughing as I watched him drag it through the house. Unless you have a tow motor handy, you can't really get any bigger than five feet. (I knew this, since years before my mother decided to do the same, only we couldn't get the spruce tree through her front door. Her tree was more like seven feet. We ended up planting it right beside the front porch. No joke.)

Anyway, my husband and I set up our midget pine tree. I decorated it, watered it, loved it, blah, blah, blah. Everything was good. Except for the fact that I was taller than the tree. It's bad when I'm taller than something.

So, over the course of weeks, I swept up pesky dried pine needles and dirt. How this come to be, I do not know. Mystery of the universe. 

About a week before Christmas, I noticed there were dead bugs everywhere. They looked like a hybrid of mosquitoes and gnats. WTF? Alright, so I just swept them up a long with pine needles and dirt. Everyday. 

One day, I noticed one was moving weakly. I remember thinking, why do I have to keep sweeping up dying bugs? I do not know why my brain did not process this properly. My only guess would be the holidays are stressful, and I didn't want to think about where they are coming from. My subconscious did not want my son's Christmas ruined. 

On Christmas Eve, we did the family thing away from home. When we got home my brain was fuzzied from wine. I put my son down to sleep hoping he is dreaming of candy canes and Santa Clause.

That is when my husband noticed the bugs on the floor. Our conversation is a little fuzzy, but I told him that I had been sweeping up dying bugs all week. Even though, most of them on the floor looked like they were getting ready to take flight. 

That is when my alcohol induced brain figured it out. It was the midget tree. Our warm house had been waking up dormant unidentified bugs, and they were getting ready to attack in droves.

What did we do about it? If I hadn't been drunk, I would have panicked, but I didn't. We opened another bottle of wine. That's what we did. I undecorated the tree, not flinching when I found my ornaments were covered in sap. 

We laughed as we both had to drag the tree out of the back door.

We stayed cool, calm, and collected as we got out our artificial tree. I fluffed and trimmed it. Swept up left over glitter, pine needles, dirt, and reanimating bugs. We even had some more wine and Santa's cookies whilst we played Santa with our son's gifts. 

The next morning I felt good about my son. He didn't even notice the different tree. And me? I was a kick-ass zombie bug exterminator. And the midget tree?

Four years later, it still lives standing at about 9 ft. tall.

I should note that I have nothing against midgets. I am one. Proud member of the Lollipop Guild. That's me.

5th Day of Creepmas; YouTube: A Constant Source Of Entertainment for all Your Horrorday Needs!

We all know I love YouTube, and for the past week I've been scouring for some awesome videos to share!

I've found some movie trailer spoofs that have turned the Christmas classics into something I would really like to see if they were real. They would make any Creepmas Day complete.

I thought this was awesome. Of course we all know the movies that were spliced into one. If not, I'll tell you. Black Christmas and Mr. Krueger's Christmas.

Okay, so I love this movie and enjoyed watching it being made into a horror perspective. I loved the murderous rampage from being laughed at in the bunny suit. Although, I wish they would have at least showed the Santa Ralphie sees at the mall. He scared the crap outta me when I was a kid.

So what's your favorite Christmas horror movie? If someone says Black Christmas, I swear I'll take my Red Ryder BB Gun and shoot you. J/K! 

Mine is the Gremlins! 

I love Gizmo and the gremlin he turns into that multiplies. I love the mischief those little bastards get into. I love the fact that they know how to party.

Someone was kind enough to put it all in a video collage. I would have liked better music though. Say perhaps, "Do you hear what I hear?" I can't listen to that song without thinking of the Gremlins.

Here is just a 6 second funny one of Gremlins caroling:

HEHEHE!

This next video I believe is a Spanish Direct TV commercial, but that doesn't make it any less AWESOME!

I don't know if I would let Hannibal Lector handle the Christmas Turkey. 

"Uh, hey Hannibal. That doesn't look like a turkey."

"fh-fh-fh-fh-fh-fh-fh."

Anyway, Merry Creepmas and because I like weird crap, I'll leave you with Napoleon Dynamite's 12 Days of Christmas.

HAHAHA! A dang quesadilla! Pronounced how it is spelled. Priceless.

4th Day of Creepmas; Ideas for the Ghouls!

My post is late this morning. My apologies. 

Here are some neat Creepmas decorating ideas:

I like the hand for the tree topper. Perfect.

Bows and skulls, and a dead tree. Love it.

Gothic style.

You can never go wrong with black.

For some reason the dead tree idea is sticking with me. Add some cool ornaments:

All of these are available for purchase at Cafepress. Top your dead tree with a hand and you've got a one of a kind Creepmas Tree!

Do you have a zombie problem invading into your Creepmas traditions? Well, thank goodness for this Instructional Video!

HAHA! I'll never have another problem with zombies infringing on my holiday!

3rd Day of Creepmas; Attack of the Zombie Elves!

Merry Creepmas! I'm really getting into the spirit now! I blame it on wicKED's 12 days of Creepmas song.

You want zombie elves? You got 'em.

Zombie Elves - The Movie

An actual Zombie Elves dark comedy movie is being produced this winter for a Christmas release next year!

With a slogan of "Ho, Ho, Holy SHIT!"

Yes, you know I love it!

The four pictures above were provided from Zombie Elves! Did you know you can buy all kinds of zombie elf gear? You can also donate and check up on production. Of course, I will keep you up to date!

Check out this cool Zombie Elves 2012 Calendar! Yes, you may buy it for me.

All pictures were hand-painted with watercolor! I had to enlarge this so it could be seen.

June is my personal favorite. Zombie Elves swimming in a pool! Who'd a thunk it?

More Zombie Elf fun for shits and giggles:

Devian Art

Hehe! <---- That's my wicked laugh.
I think this post deserves 5 zombie fingers, with jingly bells.

Don't forget to check out the other Creepers!